Portrait

Been some time since I updated my blog. Today is just a day where I feel inspired and just not lazy enough to type it out.

A lot been going through on my mind lately, well like always lol. It's just how my machine works in my brain. Am doing my second year degree in MBBS and left 3 months for its completion. Up to this point I've learn so much. Am so glad for the experiences and the knowledge which has lodged into myself. Will be starting off my practical years in 3 months and can't wait for it.

The topic that has been going on in my head is what is our role here on this land? Everyone seems to have a different objectives around me. It seems a bit confusing to me at first since all of us is gonna end up being a doctor. Its like same same but different. Through out my journey I've learn that we all have different goals and dreams in our head no matter how close a person seems to be with you in terms of thoughts. Everyone seems to have their own series of thoughts, own story to tell, and ways of portraying themselves. So I asked myself, what are your goals and dreams. I've always wanted to be a successful person, but wait who doesn't?

So I summarizes my thought systematically and figured out what I want to be and why. My true passion and the things that I wanna do. Of course being a doctor is my dream, but I'm the goals and dreams I meant is something on your death bed where one is able to say 'I did what I wanted'. Coz I refused to be the one who regrets.

Aside of managing your thoughts, I realize that emotional control is very important in achieving those goals. Like seriously have a healthy emotion, filled with positives ones and the only way to do is by doing what you want and what makes you happy. Just like when you were a kid and you had all those thoughts.

Next is maturity, it's the most important ingredient in keeping you on tract. Maturity must come along with focus, determination, an open mind and a wide open heart. Most people lack maturity and that's why problems arise. I'm placing myself in this too. Maturity is something that comes along the way and you can't buy it nor sell it. Everyone has a different definitions of maturity. Have yours.

Last but not least is the BELIEVE. I personally believe that the word 'believe' is the strongest word in the dictionary. Believing in something can bring you to limitless places. For an example have a strong believe that you are capable of achieving. Believe that you are the best and you are able to do it. Believe that you can freaking hit on the nail. Remember do not let ego to drag you along. Be decent, down to earth and show off at times coz some people just have to see your talents, you know. And BELIEVE in god. He is there to guide you throughout the way, yes he will be there without a doubt.


In general, have an uplifting feeling always. Put yourself up and noticeable to your surrounding. Out stand, lead, stand up, fight, challenge, push yourself always. Do not get comfortable with anything or anyone. Life is a constant struggle with amazing experiences. Tell me about loneliness, everyone feels it. That part, fucking grow up and realize your have family, if not make the friends.
Ok good night :)

In Time

Is the reality now is just an illusion? Is everything that is happening is a lie? Is life itself a computerized-plan programmed by The Supreme Being?  Is everything happening is supposed to be happening. Or not.

Life itself is a complete unexplainable thing. When something happens who should we point fingers to- god, people or ourselves? I can never find this answer. What's our job in this world, what's our role; to become leaders? To become engineers? To become doctors? To become garbage collectors? To become a liar? To become a thief? To become a complete idiot? Where do we lie?

What makes a building to collapse? The earthquake or the construction of the building itself? I think its neither. Because if the building is strong enough no matter what force acts on it, it will remain strong. Going back to the point, who should be blamed? The answer is no one. Do we blame the contractors who constructed the building or the mother nature? Certainly we can't punish the mother nature but we can punish the contractors. Upon investigation, it is known that the fault comes from a low quality building material. So now the developers are to be blamed. Guess what,  after a detailed investigation it is found that it was a fraud case by the building material company. Then, a statement of them saying that it's due to the inefficient budget plan by the developers. And if you noticed, the chain goes on and on. Again who to be BLAMED?

Then you may think why do we have law. I think it's just to satisfy people with the illusion that there is a 'criminal' found guilty. Applause to the lawyer etc. Case closed.

The point is whatever that happens is life there is no one to be blamed, even yourself. Blaming yourself is like taking a knife and stabbing yourself. Yes if God do exist, blaming him doesn't prove anything either. You may be wondering why does the word 'justify' exist. It just exist to calm people's heart that the culprit has been found. And guess who it is, 'justify' is. I rest my case for the night.

* I don't mean to defy on anyone's thoughts. It's just an expression of MY thoughts. Thanks.

Baby Steps

Its been a while since blog. Lately I feel that I've been shy to express my thoughts. Not sure why, maybe just the circumstance I am in. 

For the first time I'm completely lost of words on describing my situation now. I just don't know what to say. For the pass months i've been brainstorming with myself in reasoning out what's really going on in my life, certainly I failed to find an answer. So I decided to sit down and ask myself one more time, what's the matter to me? And i figured..

Life is like staircase. Each step you take you will be on a higher level. From childhood and here I am now doing my Medical Degree. It seems surreal to me. Everything had happen so fast. The jouney moved so fast from kindergarden, primary school, secondary school and here I am, University. Finally I'm realizing that I've grown to a freaking 70kg man. OMG I still can't believe it. 

Sorry for exaggeration, but I really do mean it. Well, that's the first thing I realized. Next the problem I'm facing now is my stupid brains not letting me accept this situation and act like one. Yes I still act like a kid. Like a kid! I know it sounds petty to you, but this is why I have not been feeling complete. My thoughts do not correspond to my behavior. Ahh damn it! I feel like a kid. I can't help it. Or maybe I just am. 

After recalibrating my thoughts like a million times, yes this is the problem, acceptance. I have not been accepting this phase of transition of my life. That's it why I feel out of place. Yes I'm irresponsible, arrogant, dependent, lazy, stagnant, boring and dumb. 

This has been bothering me lot. People underestimating me, downgrading me, treating me unfairly. Damn i tell you, you don't know how that feels. Living in a place of which fills with adults, at least that's what they think about themselves. I don't know their true-self, but for me I'm struggling in between maturity and immaturity . Probably everyone goes through this phase, maybe it's just me not being able to adapt in this current situation. Either way, I have to take a step onto the next level. If not I'm gonna be the remora fish of  the shark.

Damn, I've crapped to much. I just need to stay focus and just keep moving towards my goals which is to become what I wish for. Anyway, gtg.

ABCDEFG

Waking up to this beautiful morning siping my cup of tea with Radiohead seems perfect. Well it seems like a cliche, but it's truly is. Relaxing alone at hostel here feel so good. Everyhing in the house the chairs, fan and even these tiny particles of dust seem like a friend to me. Pondering back on what's life is, maybe this is. In other words i'm just accepting what life has to offer me and move by it. Move along with it without regression or any negativity. This way life seem like a flowing water in a stream. Maybe this is how my life needs to be lead on. Well, 5 more years to go for my studies and I'm gonna make sure it's a worthful journey where one day I can sit and say, yes I had it. Well this is my current definition of life and I believe doesn't matter what definition lies in your head the most important thing is one feel happy and I'm happy. That's pretty much.
Have a pleasant day everyone :)

Patience

Sitting here at home feeling feeling-less. I really don't know how to express this feelings in words or in any form of medium. It's completely bizarre and unexplainable yet i feel so comfortable in it. It's just that I've been so use-to or I would say, I've adapted to live in this kind of situation. But even I'm very comfortable with this feelings, yet I still feel the emptiness screaming right through my lungs and it urges me to do something. It's so complicated. For a moment the feelings I'm having now seems nice and for the next second it feels all so wrong. I kept wondering of the situation I'm in.

I realized that it's just that all of my feelings and emotions have been tangled and it complicates my mind to identify it. So all these while I've been having mixed feelings. It's just like you having an enormous amount of pain in your body, just that your pain receptors have been removed. BUT other receptors are still there.

In a month time, college will be over. Another new beginning. For a moment, it feels all wonderful and exciting venturing into another new world, but for the next moment it feels all scary, when fear creeps in. This is the reality. Fear is in everyone's mind. What keeps me going is the future. I keep reminding myself what lie in front of me, to keep moving, and moving forward. Though there are many obstacles on my way, but due to my pain adaptability, I've learn to keep moving. After college, approximately I have about 5 months to degree. It gonna be a hell of long months deciding my future, career, dreams, my life. Pretty much I have one last chance to choose the best course for me to venture. Then, I'm an all a grown up man. I can feel that I'm growing, but I'm afraid that I might lose my childishness in it. You know they say' grow up dude or be a man!' Certainly, they don't know what it takes to me be a man nor they know what it takes to be a child. In other words, I'm not ready to grow up. I still wanna be a kid.

It's easier to be a kid. You don't have to deal with much stuffs. Being a man is about facing the world, managing your self while no one's around you, basically it's just you and the world. Sounds scary isn't. Hell yea! It it a hell of scary ride. One advice, ride the roller coaster alone. ALONE. Makes sure there's no one on your side. If you insist on having someone, get a pet or a teddy maybe. Never bring another human being with you, it's only 10% of survival if you bring another person with you. The point is, never trust anyone.

College-->final exams is around the corner. Honestly, I'm not ready at all. I kept going on saying this to myself, ' It's just one freaking month left. One Damn Month, then the world is yours'. It doesn't help much, but it does a little.

My life goal, be awesome, be happy and enjoy. Simple as that. That's what I'm gonna work towards. Whatever I become, a doctor, an astronaut, a teacher, an artist, a singer, or a garbage collector, my goal remains the same.

It's 1.52am and I'm chilling with awesome music on hitz. It feels so good. I'm kinda sleepy too. Not really sure what I just blabbered up there. Anyway here is a song that describes my feelings. Enjoy :)

Just have a little patience
I'm still hurting from a love I lost
I'm feeling your frustration
Any minute all the pain will stop.

Just hold me close inside your arms tonight
Don't be too hard on my emotions.

Need time
My heart is numb, has no feeling
So while I'm still healing
Just try and have a little patience.

I really wanna start over again
I know you wanna be my salvation
The one that I can always depend.

I'll try to be strong
Believe me I'm trying to move on
It's complicated but understand me.

'Cause the scars run so deep
It's been hard but I have to believe
Just have a little patience [x2]

Have a little patience
My heart is numb, has no feeling
So while I’m still healing
Just try and have a little patience

Love and Sex

Is love sex or is sex love or sex and love lie in separate places. I'm completely confused with this.
The reason for this post is to capture my current thoughts or I would say my innocent mindset before venturing deeper into sex and love. I'm very immature in these issues. Why need sex if there's love and why need love if there's sex.

Undoubtedly, sex is the basic need of humans. And love is the essence of life. Directly by this way they are interrelated. Plus, we are built with sex hormones and this proves that sex is in our blood. The primary use of sex is for reproduction. But I believe that sex has been misused by us.
Here comes again the basic human attitude, greed, desperation, the wanting of more and more, pleasure, dominance, being more powerful. Talking about sex is never ending thing because one topic will always lead to another which is gonna go on and on. Is caring about someone is called love? I just don't know where to start and where to end.

Love is said to be the most beautiful thing on earth and some would say sex is awesome, but why do people suffer and many other problems evolved in life when sex and love is involve?

Let's go back to the start, love. People defines love is many ways but no one can exactly define love because love is a very subjective thing. If love is so hard to define, then what is the act of love?
Is helping someone with all their full willingness and with an open heart is love
or is sacrificing something you love for another thing is called love?
or saving up money to buy something that you like?
or beating your child to make him a better person
or spending time with the close ones is called love?

I have no definite answer but time is something very interesting. Most people will appreciate a lot if one spent time with them. Or if one dedicates his or her time to something or to a person. I.e. A teacher who works really hard and sacrifices her time for her student just to make sure the students are able to score good grades in exams. What is the teacher's act shows? Well some would say dedication, hard work, responsibility. But the bottom line of the teacher’s act is love. Without love many acts would not be possible.

On the other hand, what about sex? Is the act of sex is a product of love? Or sex is just the sake of sex which lie among our desire to eat, sleep and of course the most important thing for us is to breath. The question is where does sex lies? If sex is very important, how monks manage to restrain themselves from sex? Here comes another question? If people are able to restrain themselves from sex, it might as well as we can restrain from food?

At least this can be explained. The principle is simple, no food we die, no air we die, no sleep also we will die. No sex, are we gonna die???
Honestly, I’m not gonna know the real meaning and desire of sex because I’m not sexually oriented and I think I’m still too young for it. I’ve heard this before, if one understands one’s sexuality completely, he/she understands that person entirely. This statement is very powerful. It says that you can actually study a person through sex. That’s really interesting. There are many pros and cons of this act. Firstly, to be able to engage in sexual activity, one must find the right partner. That takes a lot of intelligence and patients. Plus pick-up lines are also imperative here. First impressions, looks, the way we speak, our presentation, body language, hairstyle, and every tiny details of ourselves.
Well please don’t judge me much based on this post. It’s just the manifestations of my doubts and confusion. The only way for me to learn about all this is to actually experiencing it. And I believe the right time will come soon. It can’t be denied that everyone has sexual desires, just that some are just too open or some are too shy to express it or some are just not normal.

Eventually everyone have to go through this face. It’s a dangerous face as exploring one’s sexuality is the ultimate understanding of oneself. Explore yourself well and take extra precautions on this issue because they are many bad people out there. After all, its apart of life. Experience it, learn it, and have fun with it. Cheers:)

It's Time

Exam is on the verge, 3 weeks countdown. It's my final exam for the semester. Look how fast time has passed. Now, gonna push all the external distractions away and focus on my exam. It's time to do it. I have 5 subjects-Math, English, IT, Psychology and Biology. IT is pain in the ass. But everything would be easy if everything is memorized. To be honest, I have increased my memorizing skills, thanks to a couple of friends here who had taught me an effective way to learn new things. This week is a busy week. I have two pending presentation and homework to be done. At the same time have to start revising, also have to deal with life problems. I believe I'm getting better at the trust issue. Well, experience have taught me a lot. Ok..every second have to be cherished. So I better get going with my presentation preparations:)

Life Is A Paradox

I never knew what life looked like, until recently I began to uncover it. It's extremely cruel and to make things worst, it has no mercy on us. I'm really confused about life now.People are insane.

To judge a person, it is as difficult as estimating the distance of the earth and moon. People are so complicated and their actions towards one another is just sometimes unexplainable. For the pass weeks, trust has been the major think-about-topic at most of my free time. People around me has multiple behaviours and subtle characters. It's so difficult to understand them and know anything about them. Personally, I have been very used relying on people around especially friends and I had no trouble mingling with them, but now it seems like the hardest thing to do. Is it because of me or them?

Friends, where I would say that the strongest love where one could find and it means everything to all of us. Trust me you can't even find this intense love with your life partner. Now, everything seems upside down. The people who we love, care, hug, even feed them could betray the friendship love. Not indirectly, but directly just like stabbing a knife into your heart. These people who I would say feeling-less and doesn't understand the what friendship is has been a nuisance in my life. Now, believing in someone seems like a fictional word. That's how terrible it is life's trust responded to me.

For now, I'm still trying my best to learn myself and also life. I hope I'll make through it. Everything around me is not as what it is. I tried my best to adapt to the surrounding by not being myself and that certainly didn't help me a bit. So, I'm back to my self and gonna instill a tremendous amount of toleration towards others and still believe that life will responds well to me. Everything seems unreal now. From what had happened, I even mistrust myself and that seriously brought me down. As I said I'm just gonna be in myself and strive all the way for my goals and dreams. I'm not gonna let anyone to distract me from my goal, even life itself! Well, Shakespeare was true.

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

I'm On The Right Track

Life has been extremely tiring here at college. Have to put a lot of effort for the tests. I just finished my test on last friday and gonna have mid-sem in two weeks time. For the pass weeks, i've not been getting enough of sleep and also had stayed awake for more than 24 hours with the help of caffeine of course. Now, im feeling good coz even though my schedule is hectic,Ii managed my time well. In the midst of everything, we have been entertaining ourselves and also on our fitness. I think it's important for my health.

I'm still gonna talk about life in college coz everyday i learn new things. Friends here are Awesome now! I realized that i have to change my self in order to attract awesome people. My roommates are awesome. We are all big eaters! My classmates are awesome too. I pretty much can get along with all of them. But, still, trust is an issue for me. For me, trusting a person is like giving yourself to one. Primarily, trusting must be mutual, it does not work on one way. To gain someone's trust is not an easy thing. This topic seems to be unimportant, but it may cause you a serious impact on you. To learn what trust is, one have to experience distrust. This is what i've learned so far. First and foremost, to understand trust, one have to trust oneself. We have to believe in ourselves.

Exam's is in two weeks and there's a lot to study. 4 subjects-Psychology, Math, Biology and IT. A lot has to be done and i believe I can manage through it, somehow. The only thing is bothering me is having a wide 360* freedom. Freedom is another topic to be managed. Got to sleep, chow.

Friends

For the pass weeks. I've been having good and depressing time at my college. I realized that it's because of me hardly getting use to with my friends there. All of them are very nice, it's just that they are very different from my pass friends. I expected them to be just like them, but I was wrong. I cracked joke as what I used to do and ending up making them to feel terribly bad. That made me to feel bad too. I was in depression. I know it sounds stupid, but it really does affect me coz I feel it's my fault. For a few days, I kept thinkin of that and plus I'm misin home and my friends, all that made me feel worst. Music helped me a lot to get through it. Thank god it doesn't last long. My house mates and my chinese friends are great. They cheered me up and I finally realized being sad does no good. All of these happen coz i've been too dependent on my friends. Everything I do involves my friends. Now, I have to fully rely on myself and understand that this is no more high school where everything will be spoon-fed. My policy now is to rely on myself fully and not on anyone else.

Last week, it was our test week. Very fast right? We have English, Math And IT tests. All the tests are completely different than what is in high school. It's damn hard in a sense that understanding is not enough, memorization is what counts. I've never used to pressurize my brain by memorizing, but for this test I had to do. I pushed myself to the limit. Every night I stay awake on an average of 1AM. Until for the IT paper, I literally died. Can u imagine what u have been doing practically has to be done in theory? Everything needs to be memorize, Everything. For some of the students, it was easy. For me it was a definite no easy task. But I tried and pushed myself to the limit. I drank two sachets of coffee on the night before the IT test. Studies up to 5.30am till I feel like fainting and I had no choice other than going to bed. I slept for about an hour and a half. It made me to feel better. I would say that on that day, I studied the most in my entire life. Haha! But still, I kept reminding myself that this is just the beginning and I have to adjust a right schedule so that I can take care of my health at the same time.

I have one week break and I'm gonna rest at home and get enough of rest and enjoy the holidays:)

Back!

I'm updating my blog after about a year. I read my friend's blog and I just feel like updating it.
The SPM is finally over and I was wrong coz I thought that life over the war was beautiful and free of dangers. The truth is, 2011. is the real life that I have to face. Yes, I have 100% freedom, but you know, anything that is too much is useless. Life has to be balance. I've been working for about 2 months at Jusco Bukit Indah. The experience that I obtained there was priceless. I learnt the poker face(s) of people. I also learnt how to win a customer's mind and the variations of people in this world is wide. I never thought that before. Bad people, good people, you name it. After 2 months, i stopped my job and I enjoyed the money. Life was great then. But, I was wrong again. Soon, the money depletes.

April, I enrolled in Masterskill University in JB to do my Foundation In Health Sciences. There another new life i have to pass. Everything was new, new friends, new teachers, new studying environment, EVERYTHING. I had a hard time getting use to not being with my friends. But you know, at one point of your life, acceptance creeps in. I have to accept that I can't meet the old friend's as I use to. In future, maybe we can only meet a couple of times in a year, I tried my best to keep in touch with my friends but they seem to be very busy. At this new college life, I thought that I was already mature, but I was wrong again. I'm still a young boy who know's nothing much about the world. My new friend's made me realize that coz they are much elder than me. This also made me realized that age will make one to be more mature.

I learn lessons everyday, and I'm gonna continue to try to make my life perfect even though the world believes that nobody's perfect. My one and only best friend is my music. Music is my motivator, my life, my best friend, my love and my everything. I also realize that I don't need anyone to make me happy. All I have is myself and I'm gonna live through it. To my friends, good luck in your future. The happy times together that we have spent will always be in my heart.

SPM

Let's face the war!
Here I come.......

Deja Vu

this post is based on my deep honesty and love

Well, woke up at 4.30a.m to rewrite the script. We only got to rehearse one day for the script. I mean including the making of it. Eve and I did pretty well on it.

Went to school with my traditional Punjabi attire which named 'Kurta', for those of you who didn't know. And it was like 'Deja vu'. It reminds me of the Bulan Kebudayaan Melayu. I felt like I've managed to rewind the time back to the start. That's a good feeling. I prepared the script with Eve and we managed to crack some 'funny' jokes. But there were a little mistakes here and there, but I think based on the overall view of the event, it was spectacular. We also manage to tribute to Michael Jackson.

The Bangra performance which was performed by a group named Joshiley(hope I got their name right), did a great job. Everyone enjoyed their performance. The did a wonderful job. Not forgetting our very own Kebudayaan Group, dance gracefully with the song Dhoom Taana. Credits to Encik Mazlan...

And finally I would like to thank to all of the teachers, especially the indian teachers who has tried their very best to make this event a joyful and a happening one.

All in all, nothing can be compared from the Bulan Kebudayaan Melayu performance. That was the best! I enjoyed our drama with my fellow mates. I missed them. All of them! I juz wished we could do that again...

The memories which is in my mind, will always remain in my mind for the rest of my life. I will never forget my wife too...haha! I'm proudly saying that, even though 99% are malays, we get along well! I juz truly love them! I hope we'll keep in touch once we leave school and we will remain like a family. Let's instill the One Malaysia spirit in us and treat everyone equally. Enjoy the pictures.......

 Anil and Fida

Eve and Me

Me, Nisha, Jess, Anand, and Anil

Me and bro

Jess and Me

More on FB....

Had another good time today...

I love everyone

Back To School

 Friday
Based on the two-weeks school holidays, last Friday was the only day I felt boring. I felt useless and disgusted, for no apparent reason. I bacame agitated with everything-->computer, food, TV. I was totally out of control! Then I decided to call my friend, Amir. I asked him whether I can go to his house or not.  He said yea! So I walked to his house. When I reached at his hse, we decided to walk. Like go for a long walk. We called Daniel too and he joined us. Ridhwan went to Jusco shopping, so he couldn't join us. We started our journey right-away.

During our journey, my stomach grumbled and asked for food. Due to my severe 'can't stand hunger' thing, we headed towards 7/11 and bought breads. I ate all of them! We continued our journey. This time we ventured into a new place, somewhere at the Sutera, where there's a school. We entered into the jungle and had a pretty tough time as there weren't an trails for us to follow. We literally made our own trail. We managed to escape from that so called jungle and we cheered for our accomplishment. Once we are out, we headed towars Kg. Bakar Batu. I've been there b4, but not by foot.

So we walked further and once we are in that area, we sensed a 'kampung' feeling. Everything was old there, I mean the houses, the stalls, stuff like that and there were cows wondering around. The people there was indigenous as well, not all. Some were very dirty looking. We spotted some of the orang asli drinking Carlsberg. I think, that's pretty cool! haha...

As planned we got back home by 7. That journey gave us a good experience and a sense of accomplishment.

 Saturday
Woke up at 11 and watched movie. By 2 got ready to go to Balqis' house. She was celebrating her birthday. So she had a small party where her close friends were invited. I was astonish to see her house cos it is walking distance from my house. And her how is beautiful. It's so huge and 'looks expensive'(i can't find a right word). We all felt like 'home' when we were there. Too cosy....camwhored and enjoyed the food there. Ate so many meatballs. And went back home for Father's Day party at night at cousin's place.

The party was fun as we had a family gathering. So I got to meet all  of my uncles and aunties. We had a beautiful time being together. It's so nice to see us being together, again. We danced, played games, ate fabulous food, get intoxicated(take me out of that list) and chatted together. It was a joyful night. Suddenly someone came out with a plan, 'let's go to Kota Tinggi tomorrow'. I anticipated that this trip would be boring and I wasn't enthusiastic about it. Well, family comes first after all. So I follow them.

  Sunday
Guess what? We had a gala time once again. The waterfall was so soothing to see and the air was so fresh there. Food wise, no problem, there were plenty of them. Drinks was less, not much plain water. We manage to get over it till i over-drank water..LOL..

Went back home by 5 but reached home at 7 cos we went to the restaurant to take our dinner. The waiter there had a massive problem due to an unsystematic way of ordering. As a result he kept bringing food which was not ordered. However, me managed to eat it. We were tired after that and waited to go home. As I got back home I watched Kick-Ass and Sex And The City 1. Had a good laugh watching these movies.....
Overall, I had a nice and splendid holidays with my friends and family. I'm grateful that I spent my holidays with the thing I have always wished to do.....

Amin, Logman, me, Qayum

A 'Yes' Could Make A Big Difference

It was after a joyful afternoon where I was loading movies and watching them online. I was on facebook and suddenly my cousin came down at my hse. They were like, 'let's go to my house now'. This has been one of the many invitation. I was not ready to go and furthermore on the next day I had to go to CS. Somehow, they persuaded me and after a long-thinking, I decided to say Yes, 'I will stay at your house tonight' i told them. Quickly packed my stuff and headed towards their house. I brought my book along in case I could read if there's nothing fun to do. The moment I reached there, they planned to go to watch football at Modestos. I was just in their plan, wherever they go. Again, changes my clothes and wore cousin's clothes. It fit me perfectly- a T-shirt and shorts.

6 of us sat in a Kancil. We managed to squeeze in the car. When we reached there, as planned we went to Modestos. First time I'm goin there and I found the place to be a nice place to hang out and relax. Especially with the live-band. But sadly, they couldn't sing my requested song-I'm Yours by Jason Mraz and Creep by Radiohead. It didn't bother me and I requested Hotel California by The Eagles. They sang amazingly and we danced gracefully! Haha....It was like just the other relaxing nights. After the football match we chilled out with our drinks. I was juz with the plain water. The match was pretty annoying coz the players kept falling down. I think, footballers are the best-actors on earth, honestly!

After a while, my cousin got off their chairs and headed towards the clubs. I didn't have any idea where they were going. I was juz following them and capturing pictures. Soon, I realized that they were goin to another club. It was Dolce. I was like shit! In a way I was excited as I've never been to Disco Clubs before. At the same time I was nervous too coz I was wearing shorts and I'm definitely underage. But the elder ones did the talk and somehow we manged to enter. They 'chopped' my hand with their own symbol. When I entered the club I was amazed by the amount of people. People were dancing everywhere and the music was so loud! And the people were all intoxicated. I juz entered and followed my cousins. My heart pounded with excitement and nervousness. We went to the toilet, first. 5 of us went. While we were doing our businesses peacefully, two girls entered in and screamed! I noticed that we're at the female toilet and I yelled 'owh shit'. We quickly got off the toilet!

We danced like crazy. I've never danced like that before. Juz move your body like nobody's watching you. Even I was completely sober, I danced madly. One thing that annoyed me was the cigarettes. I was gasping for fresh air in there. I took a little beer there as I was thirsty and I don't know where to get plain water. It taste sucks! Well, we continued dancing and this time we made a couple of friends. Chinese and malays. I think they were drunk coz I tried to talk to them and it doesn't seem like they know what I was talking. But the chinese were great dancers. They danced professionally! I can say, most of them were teenagers. I saw one chinese guy from our school, but I don't know his name.

It was a fun night and it was a totally new experience. Guess what, I spent RM 0 coz my cousins did all the payments. I also saw the true colours of people. Malay girls......wow! You know what I mean. Chinese, as usual. Haha! It was a fun night, though....Literally I partied without alcohol. So there's no reason you can't enjoy without alcohol. Juz control yourself if you are tempted by it....

 Modestos

Dolce

Bash n Me

Bash, Anil, Pel and Me

It was just another enjoyable night...

thanks to the 'Yes'

The Break-Down

Jessica's hse overnight was kinda mistake. I forced myself not to sleep and that disturbs my sleeping mode entirely. My nervous system and digestive system have to face the consequences. After I came back home from her hse, I did a mistake by playin badminton. I was out of energy, though I forced myself to play. But thank god I didn't forced  myself to the limit. I played badminton without the full spirit and made stupid jokes. I'm pretty sure that my badminton mates were pissed with me. As he told me 'we are wasting money, you are nt playin well'. Haha.
Hope that my selfishness help me on that day. I quit playin badminton half-an-hour before the end time. So I decided to go to Azri's hse.

I was very tired in his house. He just shared his camp experience with me and he seemed happy there. I mean very happy. He said he ate a lot and sneaked at the girls too. I'm not gonna reveal more. LOL...
After a while, a stranger added him on facebook and she was interested in him. And to make sure that she was a girl, we decided to add her on YM and videocall her. We had fun doing that. Thank god she was a girl. Well, I'm not gonna judge her beauty, but she was juz OK. Was listening to their conversation for a while. Funnily, I slept on his computer table. I was extremely sleepy. He directed me to his room and I slept there for about an hour.

When I woke up, I was already struck by fever. Can't walk back home. Took bus, and I froze in the bus. When I reached home, I can't sleep. Decided to explore the medicine cabinet and found flu medicine. Took it coz it will make you go full-swing.

Till now, I'm feeling unwell. Hope I will better soon. My stomach is just not well. I'm feeling as if my stomach juz got reset-ed. That's the best expression I can gv, for now. Alright, tomorrow watching The Karate Kid with a bunch of friends. Pretty excited bout it.  Gtg, then...

One Of The Nights That I Will Never Forget

Party! It was Anil's and Anand's idea. So we're all into it! Decided to do at Jessica's hse. And we did!

Went to Jess's hse at 1pm. Then, all they way we prepared for the night. When it was 7pm, we lighted up the charcoal. We weren't the pro ones, so Nisha and I was like burning the newspaper and only the newspaper was burning. Brought kerosene, I decided not to use it to light the charcoal up for our health sake. Then I remembered my Chinese friends used some kind of prayer thing to burn the charcoals. So jess' mom ask me to drive the car and buy it. I wasn't a good driver at all. And I was freaking scared! But I said 'yes'. You know, it's fun trying something new. So I drove the care! I was freaking scared, but thanks to Prahveen, she managed to calmed me down. Reached at the prayer shop. Somehow, Prahveen managed to describe it to the man and we bought it. And we discovered something, the car LIGHTS was not on and the HAND-BREAK was up! I was like Damn, this is crazy. It freaked me out. Thankfully, we reached home safely. Jess don't tel this to your parents. Lol..

At last, by 7.50pm the charcoal was burning. I went back home juz to change and guess what? It took me an hour. I reached at Jess' hse at 9.10pm. By that time, many people came and the surrounding was so happening....I attacked the food first. There was a lot of food. BBQ-ed chicken, nuggets, hot-dogs, pizza-breads and etc. Soon, the music was on. It was like The Energizer. Everybody started shaking and moving. Especially the girls....They were moving their ass...haha!

Dance and dance for quite a long time and I was the videoman. Took great shots and videos. At the same time I juz move a little bit of here and there with them. They were all very nice people, even i juz met them. They were all so inviting and friendly.

Suddenly Jess' suggested to me a stupidest idea. FLOUR?. I strictly rejected No! But she seemed to be enthusiastic bout it. So, she asked me again, and I told her No again. Not long after Corn Flour was flying around the air. That totally pissed me out. She literally ruined her party. And her hse was in a BIG mess! Terrible mess....

And the best thing was her mom and dad remained calm and relax. They were so understanding. After all, everybody had fun. Sorry Anand for being a little piss. I was juz not ready with the flour especially its was the sticky Corn Flour! Then, we played truth or dare. As usual, all the stupid daring will come out. The video will be out soon on facebook. Then we started cleaning the place together, thank god Prahveen, Suresh, Jessica and Anil helped me. We washed the floor just to get rid of the flour. We were quite pleased. But the condition of the hse was still terrible!

By 2pm we're in the bedroom, planin wad to do. First decided to go to CC. But CC would cost us too much as we do not have enough cash. So i suggested everyone to go for a walk. We literally walked around Perling at 2.30am. We were like the crazy kids wandering around. We're scared at the same time. Did stupid shit at the water station. U can see it in the video later...haha! Then, left Suresh at home. We walked to Suresh hse. But we didn't feel the tireness as we're all penetrated deep into our conversation. Starting from there, I began talkin about History with Cedric. It was pretty interesting as I got to know many new things bout The Christians. It was knowledgeable though. When we got back home, Cedric and I decided not to sleep. And we kept talkin bout our philosophy beliefs. Immediately our frequency matched. We spoke for the whole night and we didn't realize the time passed so fast.
At 5am we were a little bored so we went to Jess' brothers room and we started to talk bout martial arts and workouts. By 5.30 we went back to bed and noticed that there's no place for us to sleep. So we lied on the tiles. It was freaking cold.

At 6 we decided to witness the sun rise. We went out at the balcony and inhaled the fresh air and admired the beautiful scenery. And started camworing. We felt awkward at first, snapping photos together, after a while we're cool bout it. By 7, I was on the bed again and this time we were out of words to talk. Eventually, I slept. Cedric woke me up at 8.45 and he told me that his mom is outside. I unlocked the gate and he left. It's been such a pleasure meeting him. In one night, we spoke a million of things as if we have been friends for years.

Then, I woke everyone up and ate breakfast. Without hesitating, we started the cleaning again. I gotta admit, it was very tiring. But we persevered and clean the whole hse compound. Jess' mother was pretty satisfied and she told us that nex time y'all can have another party here. Isn't that great? Neway, thanks for everything aunt. Now I'm my eyes hurt badly and my bed is calling me. But I gotta say, this is one of the nights that I will remember for the rest of my lfe. Meeting amazing people is this world is just awesome. It's been a pleasure meeting all of you guys. We'll have another party nex time. For now, let's rest and regain our energy. Cheers!

 the whole gang

Floor-nightmare!

Shisa-ing

Sher Min and me

More pics will be uploaded on facebook....

for now, bye...

Party Is My Current Drug

Books, I gotta put you on hold currently coz I got plenty of thing to do. Yesterday watched Prince of Persia with Amin and my bro. Then met Fida there.I gotta say that movie is brilliantly directed. The movie is very classical and it signifies the Kingdom-age. It was also very suspicious as some of the story line was unpredictable. But I gotta admit that the ending was over-satisfying. Haha. The ending is like, the starting of the movie. You know what I mean if u have watch it. Well, the actress Gemma Arterton who acted as Tamina is utterly gorgeous! She is the perfect choice. She has a very beautiful and sexy body indeed! I can't take my eyes of her.

The main message of the movie is Destiny Rules Everything. It is destined to be that way. The graphics was pretty good but I expected more 'real' parkour . It was much camera trick. Well, Jake Gylenllhaal was great too. Wait, help me too pronounce his name(lol). Overall, it was great!

Before that, last friday, exams finally ended. And it was indeed a big satisfaction. After the 3-freaking long weeks, where we endured with full of suffering, finally it ended. Thank god.

After school, we headed to the Badminton Court. Played after one month plus and misin it so much. I played till I dropped. After that we went for a minor photoshoot juz to please ourself. In other words it was like 'shiok sendiri'

And now i'm very tired. The badminton and the walking at CS has given me bad aches on my ass and my hips. Thanks to my fitness instructor, Logman, with his help I managed to ease the pain. Thanks dude!

I'm gonna try to sleep now and tomorrow definitely not going to school. Gonna rest. Thought of going badminton tomorrow. Let the day come and see how it goes. Ok...I gtg...i'm enjoying the radio now......
chow!

me, Fida and bro

Weird Facts

I noticed weird thing usually happen between my brother and me. Some things that caught my attention.

1. PMR
I remembered during the exam we were in separate classes coz the difference in our name as in T and N. So he sat beside my class. It was English exam. So i remembered it was speech and i was thinking about the opening words. You know like ' thanks to god for allowing me to....'. So halfway, i was confused with the spelling 'necessary'. So i wrote on the blank space 'necasary, nessacary, necasary, and so on. At last I think I didn't use the word. I used something else. When i came back home, I asked my brother about his English exam, he said he had difficulties spelling the work 'necessary'. I was like WTF. I had the same trouble too. Then i saw his question paper, right at the same empty space he was trying to spell 'necessary'. It totally freaked me out.

2. He fell down, while cycling. (a few days back)
Guess what, it happen to me after two days. While i was cycling, I tried to cycle to a higher place by pulling up the handle of the bicycle. Eventually, It was too late and i was fast. I spun more than 180 degrees and landed my head on the ground. It was very embarrassing.. I'm perfectly fine now! Thanks god only a few people saw. Juz hurt my shoulders a bit....

3.Sick
This is very common, whenever i'm sick, my bro will get. This has been happening since we're young.

4.Thoughts
Sometimes, our thoughts match. When we were in primary school, we used to do stupid things together. One of them was when we were sitting free, we will play a game name 'lets guess a song' It's like we have to sing simultaneously and see whether our song match together. Its like 'start' and we both will hum a song. Most of the time, our humming match. Weird!

5.Result.
UPSR I got 3As 2Bs. My bro also got the same and with the same subjects respectively. Even when we went to PPD to appeal for SMKSP, he was shocked also and that tricked his mind into approving our appeal-letter...haha! And we started talking about our similarities and stuff like this. PMR also got exactly the same results. Let's see for SPM.

For your information, we don't have the 'deja-vu' feelings and like' I know what you are thinking now'. It all happen in movies only.....But I gotta admit, most our thoughts are the same.....
weird

Dreadful Week!

Today was Physics paper 2 and Bio paper 3. I gotta admit both papers was sucks. I'm gonna be very honest. I got the Physics paper and the answer scheme before exam(Dun ask me fm where i got it). But I didn't really depended on it. Yesterday, I glanced through it and literally memorized the answers. When came to school saw a few people was lookin on it. Then, I decided not to do anything in school. So i waited for the paper. To my greatest disappointment the paper was exactly the same as what i've got. I did question 1 which was about the stopwatch. And did a little bit of here and there. Once i reached Section B, I felt really bad bout it and felt guilty...Like I've have done something really wrong. So i did the first question. Did a), b) and continued. After a while, I lost my interest in doing the paper and I slept. I slept for about 20 minutes and Pn. Khairina woke me up. She asked me whether I have finish it or not. I said no. And she said y? I didn't really knew what I answered her and I continued sleeping. I woke up after 20 minutes again and Pn. Khairina urged me to do a little bit. I didn't and continued sleeping. I woke up after 10 minutes again and think whether I should do it or not and i didn't. At last, i slept till the paper ended. This was a terrible paper indeed! I've never come across with this type of condition. I felt Bad!

Soon, tyme for Bio. This time I put in a little effort since I didn't have any specific 'tips'. So i did all of it except for the experiment designation. I juz did the MV and RV. And just did a little bit here and there....

Once I reached home, felt a little bad and logged on facebook. Pn. Khairina came online and I told why I didn't do the paper well. She advised me and it calmed me down. I juz want to thank Pn. Khairina for seriously helping me and urging me to do. I'm not gonna make promises here. But teacher i assure you that I will do well in the upcoming days. Not necessarily exam. I hate it when anyone evaluate one with his/her examination achievement. I'm not gonna blame the soalan bocor for my condition but I'm gonna blame myself for accepting it. It totally made my life miserable. Also thanks to my wonderful friends who had advised me. Mistakes are meant to be learn. Thanks again Pn. Khairina and friends. Teacher, you are such a kind person. I will smile tomorrow....

Doodling....(did during Bio exam)

Experiment Designation....