For the pass weeks. I've been having good and depressing time at my college. I realized that it's because of me hardly getting use to with my friends there. All of them are very nice, it's just that they are very different from my pass friends. I expected them to be just like them, but I was wrong. I cracked joke as what I used to do and ending up making them to feel terribly bad. That made me to feel bad too. I was in depression. I know it sounds stupid, but it really does affect me coz I feel it's my fault. For a few days, I kept thinkin of that and plus I'm misin home and my friends, all that made me feel worst. Music helped me a lot to get through it. Thank god it doesn't last long. My house mates and my chinese friends are great. They cheered me up and I finally realized being sad does no good. All of these happen coz i've been too dependent on my friends. Everything I do involves my friends. Now, I have to fully rely on myself and understand that this is no more high school where everything will be spoon-fed. My policy now is to rely on myself fully and not on anyone else.
Last week, it was our test week. Very fast right? We have English, Math And IT tests. All the tests are completely different than what is in high school. It's damn hard in a sense that understanding is not enough, memorization is what counts. I've never used to pressurize my brain by memorizing, but for this test I had to do. I pushed myself to the limit. Every night I stay awake on an average of 1AM. Until for the IT paper, I literally died. Can u imagine what u have been doing practically has to be done in theory? Everything needs to be memorize, Everything. For some of the students, it was easy. For me it was a definite no easy task. But I tried and pushed myself to the limit. I drank two sachets of coffee on the night before the IT test. Studies up to 5.30am till I feel like fainting and I had no choice other than going to bed. I slept for about an hour and a half. It made me to feel better. I would say that on that day, I studied the most in my entire life. Haha! But still, I kept reminding myself that this is just the beginning and I have to adjust a right schedule so that I can take care of my health at the same time.
I have one week break and I'm gonna rest at home and get enough of rest and enjoy the holidays:)